Yours Grudgingly! First Experiences and Reluctant Friendships

Yours Grudgingly! On first experiences and reluctant friendships

I’m a big fan of the xXx (Triple X) franchise, my favorite being the third film, Return of Xander Cage, which I find quite dope! Perfect mix of a cool storyline, peng and diverse cast, action, cool themes, suspense and all that good stuff.

Triple X, Return of Xander Cage

Apart from the kick-assry, sharp thinking and planning, intriguing twists, heroism, power moves and Vin Diesel’s muscles, I’m also particularly impressed by the reluctant friendship that developed among the protagonists and how they pooled in their varying strengths to work as a team even though they were on seemingly opposite sides initially and had gotten off on the wrong foot.

Just watching the movie reminded me of my own reluctant friendships. I use the term “reluctant” because I wouldn’t have thought or imagined I could be friends with some people considering my initial experiences with, and first impressions of them. So eventually becoming friends was sort of a gradual and reluctant though well worth it process.

Case in point: I have this coursemate and friend that I didn’t like initially. Judging from the fact that she barely interacted with most people in class then, I decided she was snobbish, snooty and stuck up. She always moved with just a particular group of girls and even though we lived in the same hostel, we barely talked. This continued even till our second year.

Judging you

Things changed when we both became executives in our departmental association and had to work together a lot. Of course, we had arguments and slight mutual dislike but I also noticed her brilliant work ethic and get-it-done spirit which earned my grudging respect and gradually, we went on to become friends.

Then I learned that those times I thought she was being stuck up and aloof, she was just quite shy and unsure in a new environment and it takes a while for her to warm up to new people. Those friends she always moved with were those she’d known from secondary school so she felt more in tune and comfortable with them.

Fast forward to now, we’ve gotten quite close and have gone on to share lots of goofy, crazy and serious moments, eat, play basketball, read, gist and hangout together. Funny enough, I later got to know that she didn’t like me at first too because she thought I was a spoilt rich girl (omo-butter), too conservative and a tad bit stuck up too. Lol, this life ehn!

The day my other friends and I swapped stories about our first impressions of one another and how we became friends, I mentally shook my head. Who knew that things would be this way? So much for first impressions and appearances. I mean, I’ve learnt and gained so much from people that didn’t look like they could add to me. Even became very close to those we used to argue and beef one another a lot, lol. Thankfully, letting go of some things has make way for good and value-adding relationships.


Most people probably have one or two friends like this, those we didn’t imagine we could even talk to ever again, let alone become friends. Background differences, preconceived notions, stereotypes, personal prejudices and initial experiences might make us draw conclusions about certain people and keep them at arm’s length. However, if we look beyond all these and keep an open mind (without compromising our standards though), we can find valuable and helpful friendships in them, howbeit reluctantly.

Do you have a similar story? I would love to know about your reluctant friendships too: your first experience, how you became friends and your friendship experience so far. Go ahead and share below!
– The Value Adder™

14 thoughts on “Yours Grudgingly! On first experiences and reluctant friendships”

  1. Hmmm..
    There was this girl back in my high school days, she was friends’ friend except me, they all talk and shit whenever she comes around and I’d just stand aloof and stare..
    We had this mutual hatred for each other from afar until one day…
    She came to my school as usual, she didn’t meet her so called “friends” and had no choice than to ask me, she actually came to read that day..
    Fast forward, we got into a lil talk and entered academics, I learnt she loves Chemistry, so as a sharp guy, I dragged the discussion into chemistry and that created a chemistry between us till today..
    I answered all her chemistry questions and she was wowed 😱..
    We became friends and my niggas didn’t even know until they heard we dating 😂 😂, we broke up after high school anyways, but trust me, we still cool friends..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hmmmm
    I actually had same experience with the same person you are talking about….only that we actually became closer a little earlier…..
    I remember it all started during our matriculation day,to be precise we were about to sign our matriculation oath.we were doing so on a line so she was in my front me,she signed and as I was about to sign mine I asked her for her pen which she dropped on the form……after we signed the form she was holding a tablet which I asked her to let me take a look(being a gadget freak),but to my greatest suprise she turned down my request dramatically and left forgetting to collect her pen….
    After that day we never talked even when department issues brought us together she never showed or even when she did she always ignored the rest of us and rolled with her friends….
    On one faithful day I heard one of her friends call her by another name (her religious name) I was forced to walk up to her and asked some questions……
    Fast forward in time….we later became good friends like very good friends although we have our differences once a while but all in all got to understand her well just like you explained earlier….
    Do you know what I still have the pen from matriculation day after five years didn’t use it,just abandoned it in my box.came across it when I was looking for a file of mine….

    Liked by 1 person

  3. @ ahmed and @the valueadder Wehdone ma and sir.
    I think we all have a story about this person, well she is the MVP in my life at the moment.
    Shout out to my #Hunnay😍

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My closest friend by the time I graduated used to be so out of reach during our first 2years in the university.
    We were in the same church, department, hostel and everything.
    But somehow I felt she saw me as less of a christian because she was a very strong sister without earrings, make up, the kind that tied her scarf and no strand of hair would breathe during church services etc.
    Somehow we grudging became roommates and then she told me how she admired me from a distance and made to hug me my birthday one time and how I snobbed her – I can’t even remember that cus I am mostly a celebrity on my birthdays so there’s a high probability that I didn’t see the hug coming especially from her.
    Being friends with her is one of my greatest achievements so far and I am thankful that I did not have the power and connections back then to refuse her to be my roommate cus at one point I considered it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Loooooong story. He kinda had too many girls around and I didn’t just get it! I felt they wanted something from him and him for him but then ‘wah iz ma own?. We were just in Senior Secondary School. Didn’t know too much.
    We moved on. My close friend liked him. I was a mediator kinda. Loyal one…mean too. Lol.
    Skip skip we left school and had to enrol for a programme before resuming uni then it all happened. We clicked like clips. Liked everything about him although I still formed tough sombori and didn’t say. My dear…long story short that stranger became my bestie🤗🤗🤗.

    Errrm…are we still besties? Don’t ask. Lol.
    That’s my shortened long story.
    Nice piece dear

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I didn’t like my roommates when I came to school. I thought it’d remain a ‘hey, how are you?’ relationship between us, and now we are kinda like bffs
    I’ve also heard stories like this. Let’s just say I’ve learnt to keep an open mind.
    I love xXx too. Xander Cage is just cool.

    Liked by 1 person

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